I often tell my son this, so keep an eye on what I do! The problem I face as a father, a parent, and a man is that if my son is going to watch what I do, shouldn’t my behavior be equally important? In today’s culture, defining the role of the family has become increasingly challenging. Let’s just state the obvious by making it clear that everyone of us is a child of someone else. Additionally, we all have childhood memories. Our past has had an impact on each of us. Every one of us has had a hero or someone we grew up watching and idolizing.
Most often, that person was their parent. Therefore, parents, keep in mind your youth and realize that you serve as a model for your children. According to research, the majority of young people, whether you are aware of it or not, look to their parents and other members of their family for guidance. Is that not your own experience? So if it is, what do we do with that? What transpires with that hero? Have you remained the hero of your child? What function does the family play? As a father of a 7-year-old who is rapidly developing, I frequently consider the example I am setting for my son. And that is what the word literally means. In the Bible, Jesus is referred to as the Son of God, and the word “son” means “the example of.” Therefore, Jesus is the ‘Perfect Example of God.’ It serves as an excellent illustration of God’s incarnation. The Function of Family Therefore, as parents, we must acknowledge that children are examples of their parents if son means the example of. Throughout scripture, you see it this way: David was the son of Jesse who was the son of Obed who was the son of Boaz. You could literally say that David was the model for Jesse, who in turn was the model for Obed, who in turn was the model for his father Boaz. We are familiar with David’s father and his father before him in passing. As children, we serve as models for our parents. Additionally, this is an essential aspect of the family’s role. Families offer: an example
an identifier moral, social, and economic support
influence in a family member’s life that lasts a lifetime
boundaries providing security and structure in which one can grow and flourish.
Yet according to a study conducted by the University of Missouri:
Dads spend 8 minutes a day talking to their children
Working mothers spend 11 minutes
Mothers who stay at home spend less than 30 minutes So, in raising children, do we look at it from the perspective of a lifetime or from a day in day out experience? The key piece of the family is a deep commitment by the parents to parenting and raising their children. A week-long trip to Disneyland, the beach, or the mountains does not demonstrate commitment. Day after day, a deep commitment is demonstrated over time. Remember these four things:
Honor is earned. Take some time to have fun and make it a point to spend time with each other. Encourage one another by learning each other’s strengths and assets. Communicate love consistently – not just in words but in actions
An excellent analogy is provided by flooding. Generally a river or stream has clear borders. Water needs to be contained. The countryside, trees, and foliage close to the river’s banks look beautiful when the water is contained. But when that river no longer remains in the banks to control its flow, there is devastation and chaos as a flood will destroy the surrounding environment.
So, what function does the family play? The family provides banks and boundaries for its members. Parents establish those “banks for their children. Without them, children have no “home, no security, no place to feel safe, no refuge to run to in trouble, no safe harbor in which to grow and develop.
One of our most natural weaknesses is being consistent; in our love, our discipline, our time commitment, our self-control, our application of God’s Word. This is the precise reason we need daily reminders, daily strength, daily encouragement. In Lamentations 3:10, God declares, “His grace is new every morning.” Every day is a new day because of God’s grace. If you confess your sin to the Lord, ask for His grace to begin again, the actions of yesterday need not control the actions of the future. You cannot do that that too many times! His grace is infinite!
So in understanding the role of the family, particularly the role of parents who set the tone for the family, here is some simple advice:
Open your mouth and think before you speak! Celebrate the good things! Spend time regularly doing things your children enjoy. This doesn’t mean you have to cater to every interest they have, but it does mean you should spend time learning what they really care about and improving your skills in that area. Each child has their own unique talents, learn your child’s talents rather than forcing your interests on them.
Eat meals together and engage in family activities on a regular basis
For those who drink alcohol, make some of those dinners or social events alcohol free to show your children that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time or to relax.
When it comes to taking care of your children, you are never on your own. Like minded parents with whom you can become friends can become a help and encouragement as you traverse these years together. When we call upon Him and beg for His mercy, God never abandons us or forsakes us. Parents and their children can benefit greatly from a thriving and healthy church community. Make use of what God has provided for parents and families. Remember, God works through and with families.
